The picture below,however, is the very essence of why this city has captivated me for years. If a picture is worth a thousand words, I think this one could write a book.
To say that today was overwhelming would be an understatement. It was by far the most busy, challenging, overwhelming, stressful, thought-provoking day yet. Again, not at all a complaint, because it was not beyond what I was ready for or could handle, but dang, I am tired. So, as usual, the run-down on the day’s many activities and then some thoughts…
I started out the day again at the summer camp program. We did just a little bit of academic work this morning before heading downtown to..THE PUBLIC LIBRARY! Anyone who knows me well knows my fondness for public libraries – books for FREE! (okay, taxes and the fines I accumulate make it less than free, but still, it’s a nice idea in theory) We went for an hour-long presentation by a reptile guy from the Audobon Zoo (which I visited in January) and he showed snails, lizards, a snapping turtle, and an alligator. The kids were actually really well behaved and sat pretty well even though the guy did a lot of talking. It was nice because you never know how much these kids get out to see the world beyond their front door, and I like out-of-the-ordinary treats that tell the kids that they are loved and that someone wants them to have some joy in their lives.
The library was followed by a ride on the ferry across the big Mississippi River. Honestly, not terribly exciting as an outing, but it was cool to go across the river and, again, good to do something extra with the kids that they might not normally get to do. After that we drove around for a long time in very crowded, hot vehicles for lunch. The plan was to go to Taco Bell, (Bean burritos!) but one was closed for remodeling, then the next one too, so we just went to Wendys. (Renee – had a frosty with chocolate chip cookie dough..like college all over again..minus a pot and cheese grater.) After a long time at Wendys – feeding 25+kids and a pile of adults takes a long time – we headed back to the program house for the kids to get picked up. No swimming because of the spur of the moment field trip on the ferry and crazy time getting lunch, but all in all, not a bad way to spend the day with some pretty great kids.
After the kids left, I headed next door to the HIV/AIDS outreach program building. I sat with Pastor Bruce for a bit learning all about the HIV tests that they do, the statistics for HIV/AIDS in the community, and more. The program offers free HIV testing, information, and all the condoms a person could ever really need – with more varieties than I ever knew existed. So, while we were talking, a guy came in to get condoms and asked for an HIV test. He agreed to let me sit in, understanding that I was learning about the program. Then, while we were waiting for that guy’s results to come back (The test takes about 20 minutes), another one came in. We finished with the first guy and then I sat in for another. When they both had left, Pastor Bruce and I talked some more about different outreach programs they do and trends that he is seeing with HIV/AIDS in the community. When we were done with that, I got picked up and drove around town for some errands with Deborah on our way to the evening’s “Hour of Power” church time.
Now, all week Deborah has shared with me the stories of many people in the church and camp programs – struggles their families face both related to Katrina and otherwise. But today, driving to church, she shared her own story with me. Pointing ahead of us while driving, she said “see 610 (the interstate) up there? That’s where we were.” Then, for the next half hour or so, I just sat while she shared with me all about having to decide to leave her home; about being saved by her neighbor who had a boat and took her to the bridge; about going for hours without food or water; and about the inner sadness and pain she dealt with as she rode off the bridge to safety on a bus, while watching many others left behind. Because her story was unsolicited, I felt really honored that she felt safe and wanted to share it with me. We were heading to church, so she stopped when she was ready but we talked more on the way back to the house and while she cooked dinner later this evening. We talked about how it has been for her getting back to New Orleans and still living in a half-finished home; and about struggles she faced in the months after the storm and how she shared similar, but more pronounced, fears when we drove through the flooded streets on Sunday. When Bruce got home, we had dinner together (Red Beans and Rice!) and talked more about the HIV/AIDS issues and a little more before bedtime.
So, it was quite a day. A full day, a blessed day, a tough day, and a growing day for sure. Thoughts, again in no particular order...
The two biggest things for me today were the HIV experience and hearing Deborah’s story.
I had known HIV/AIDS outreach was part of the church’s ministry and had known when I got here that I might be doing some work with them this week. However, there is a huge difference between passing out some condoms or literature, and sitting in a room with a person who is waiting to find out if he is HIV positive. HUGE difference. This is made especially true by the fact that, as I learned from Bruce, many of the cases they see in the program are people who already have the disease at the AIDS stage because they just don’t understand HIV, don’t think it could happen to them, or aren’t ready to face the music. So, the likelihood that I could have witnessed someone getting that news today was huge. And there are no time-outs, no do-overs, no script. It just is what it is – positive or negative and that’s that. It’s weird because so often in our lives, especially my own, we are able to plan for things. We know when something challenging might arise, or how we anticipate something might turn out, and we prepare ourselves for it. But this was different, partly because it is all such a major thing, and partly because there was no plan or script – you read the test when the client did, no advance notice or heads-up. The great thing about the program here is that, if a person does test positive, there are supports in place to help him/her get medication, doctor referrals, counseling, and whatever supplies they need to prevent transmitting the disease to others. Additionally, a positive HIV test isn’t a death sentence, especially if someone finds out early and has access to medical support and care, so part of working with people is to help them understand that life can go on after those test results. I don’t know that HIV/AIDS testing or counseling work is in my future, but it was a good experience to put myself in a vulnerable place with a client, to understand the suspense and anxiety that is a part of that process.
Now, Deborah’s story. I don’t really even know where to start with this one – what details to share, what odd analogies I can come up with to communicate how it felt to hear it, but we’ll give it a try. A lot of the factual information about it was not terribly surprising to me because of things I already knew about Katrina and how things were handled for people after the storm. But again, it is always different when you know someone who was separated from her family, stranded on that bridge, and was not given any food for hours and hours. As she told me about her experience, priority number one was just to be present, really present, especially considering that it was information I hadn’t asked for, but that she was offering on her own. I think just being an ear to listen, to a person who usually is taking in so much trouble from others who need her, was helpful for her. It just is odd because hearing her story about Katrina seemed somehow different than other stories I have heard from people about difficult experiences in their own lives. Perhaps this is just because it is the first story that has really been shared with me since I have been seeing the world a little differently, but I don’t know. What I do know is that after we talked, and finished the conversation at dinner, I felt an odd sense that I needed to hold onto her story very carefully. Now, work with me here because I know it sounds odd – for starters, there isn’t anything tangible to hold onto. And, there is a difference between carefully holding onto the story of another person and holding onto it in a way that weighs you down. In this case, it is definitely the former, as though some piece of her human experience has been entrusted to me and I have this overwhelming need to be gentle with it. This is part of the reason I have not really included it here; it isn’t my piece of history to give to someone else, and I almost think people would be better off gathering stories on their own rather than just taking in mine. If, however, you are interested in some Katrina stories “When the Levees Broke,” a documentary by Spike Lee is a film that will be a great place to start.
I am exhausted, and tomorrow promises to be another (insert adjective I have probably used too much in this blog here) day, so I think that is all for now. Again, both of the two major things on which I have chosen to comment for today are quite heavy things that still need some process and peacemaking time, so there may be further thoughts on them in the next few updates…we’ll see. As always, thank you for your continued diligence to reading my very long blogs, for your support, and prayers.
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